1. Russell Crowe announces plans to make his Australian rugby club more family friendly: They'll be putting a day-care center in the endzone.

2. Michael Douglas is new voice of NBC Nightly News intro: Inner-office memo at NBC, "Greed is Good".

3. Anthrax finds new lead singer through MySpace: It worked so well with finding groupies, they thought, "Hey, what the heck."

4. A-Rod signs with Madonna manager: Meanwhile, Barry Bonds signs with O.J. lawyers.

5. Publication of Lynne Spears' book about parenting delayed: What cynics, are they waiting for her kids to make a misstep or something?

6. Isabelli Rossellini to make environmental-themed miniseries for Sundance Channel called Green Porno: Jumping on that Al Gore-Brazillian Wax bandwagon.

7. Terrell Owens apologizes for blaming Jessica Simpson for Cowboys loss: Finally running out of excuses for losing that don't include him.

8. Erik Estrada's son forces plane to land: Larry Wilcox' daughter quickly follows with Bus hijacking.

9. More cast members added to upcoming film version of G.I. Joe: That way Samuel L. Jackson and Gerard Butler can be in every single movie made today.

10. Former HBO chief Chris Albrecht takes U.K. series about a call girl to Showtime: Hmmm, and what could be his motivation? Blackmail maybe?