1. Jennifer Lopez finally confirms she pregnant! Finally, baby got back and front!!

2. Harry Potter is the most reread book in Britain: But can it beat the streak by that little old tome by King James?

3. Pizza Hut encourages Reese Witherspoon's son's dream of being a pizza delivery boy: Hopefully this will work out as well for Pizza Hut as when Marlon Brando interned as a Pizza Chef.

4. Dilbert creator's restaurant struggles: Luckily for him dreary-eyed cubicle dwellers aren't as discerning as the hungry masses.

5. Ellen Degeneres slammed for crossing picket line: Well, I guess after you cross that tedious heterosexual line, it gets easier.

6. Britney Spears claims she was sleeping when the courts called for drug tests: She swears to the judge she will make her doctor prescribe something to offset those darn sleeping pills.

7. Elisabeth Hasselbeck names son Taylor Thomas: This was her third celebrity name choice after Hasselhoff Hasselbeck and John Jacob Jinglehiemer Hasselbeck

8. Radiohead to release formerly free album on CD: When they get rich from this scheme, they will proceed north to sell ice cubes to the Eskimos.

9. Paris Hilton speaks out against binge-drinking elephants in India: Janeane Garofalo quickly joins the fray, speaking out for the religiously opressed Praying Mantis'.

10. Annie Lennox flips off crowd at UNICEF charity concert: She's got to stop taking social advice from Faith Hill.