1. Lifelong bachelor Scott Baio films his wedding for reality show: It's the wedding night video that we fear even more.

2. Friendship between Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson popularizes the word "bromance": Giving the term second wind after it failed as the original title for Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain.

3. A crew member for Liza Minelli is held for allegly hitting a photographer : He's quickly fired, as Liza has a strict "I do my own slapping of peons" policy .

4. PETA slimes "Hairy Kate" and "Trashley" Olsen for designing fur: Garnering much more attention than their Haiku on Jennifer Anniston's leather loafers.

5. Jack Nicholson says men have more in common with dogs: While women have more in common with cats; but, I suspect he didn't use any of these exact words.

6. Britney Spears allegedly shoplifts a cigarette lighter at a gas station: But who can resist nabbing a Budweiser Zippo from a Seven-Eleven?.

7. Kevin Bacon campaigns for John Edwards: Thereby, finally placing Edwards within 6 degrees of Al Gore.

8. Hilary Swank says she once choked on vitamins: Those damn Kennedy boys!!

9. Irish magazine apologizes to Tiger Woods' wife for fake nude photos: Along with the bogus "Lost Tapes of St. Patrick" this has been one bad year for the Irish porn industry.

10. Ellen DeGeneres launches a plan to refurbish animal shelters: Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen suggest a cross-marketing program.