1. Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds engaged: They quickly go out and register at Macy's for their china pattern and Zimbabwe for their children.

2. Two-disc special edition of Twister now available: Alternate ending finds Helen Hunt waking from a terrible nightmare to be welcomed home by Jack Nicholson, Greg Kinnear and Cuba Gooding Jr.

3. Elisabeth Hasselbeck says her "bubble butt" is "what powers me forward when I run": She credits her Wonder Bra for giving her the ability to "back a car like truck driver."

4. Gretchen Wilson finishes high school: And to make the experience authentic, she TP's the principal's house, water balloons some freshmen and then has a secret affair with the football coach.

5. Cristian de la Fuente will have to undergo surgery for injury suffered on Dancing with the Stars: There's a surgery for distended pride?

6. Dr. Phil thinks he is "flexible as a rubber hose:" But this was just pandering to his Yoga-Contortionist-Ballet Dancer demographic.

7. Newsweek critics split on whether Seinfeld is still funny: The issue's not as cut-and-dry as, say, how the week-old, text-based, print news medium holds up in today's world.

8. James Frey's new book includes character based on Perez Hilton: Oprah goes ahead and has schedulers block off a Thursday in September.

9. Source on Brad and Angelina's European vacation activities: "They're doing everything you and I might be doing:" Only I come home with trinkets, not triplets.

10. Barbara Walters reveals affair with Massachusetts senator that almost ended her career: Not to mention what it would have done to the credibility of the Whig party.